You know sometimes in life u just want to curl up and cry your eyes out and then u want to die... that's how I feel tonight.. I just wanna cry... and today I cried.. I mean I cry pretty easy but u know there's the kinda crying where you just can't help but cry and it kinda just flows out.. Then there the crying where something happened.. (Good or bad) and u cry for like a minute or too it relases just the tiniest amount of pressure for u to be able to pull it all togeather again.. Then it just stats to build up again... that's how I feel I cried tonight because a customer decided to have a raging fit because of something that happened.. I being the nearest employee and the one who happened to be in chatrge of the area at that moment got the brunt of the yelling and the other poor kids and parents near the area over heard.. I don't like being yelled at..it seriously hurts my feelings... and with everything adding up it pushed me right over the edge but then I went and cried three more times after that... u know u need a really good cry when something that happened drives u to cry a few more times... its so annoying to my tears I swear have acid in them because it makes my eyes and sin around my eyes hurt.. Sigh can't do anything about that... I'm so tires... and hoestly I'm hurt.. Not physically but emotionally hurt.. My heart hurts my head aches... and its not like I have the choice to step out for awhile... or be removed I'm not a kid I have responsibilities... and that just makes things tougher.. Makes the hurt worse... I miss my own smile my own happiness with the world... everyone used to comment me on my smile that I had a big smile and I was always o happy... and I always shined no matter what I was wearing.. It didn't matter... because the inside matched with the outside and I was sooo happy.. I don't know what happen... to that person to that happy carefree girl.. She dissapeared.. And in her place is a women crushed by the weight of responsibility and of the world... and the best she can do is live each day as best as she can with no one to turn to.. Not even her mom.. No one to hold her to cry on anyone shoulder... that's me.. I'm not trying to complain its wrong to complain I've got so much I'm so blessed.. I've a family that loves me.. But it doesn't make the pain less or go away.. I can't breathe.. With no air.. And no one to hold me up and be there for me.. To make sure I breathe each day... in and out I try so hard.. But sometimes its so hard.. And I can't explain.. Its to hard.... right now I just can't breathe