a submissives feelings are different from each submissive.. my feelings are strong and they show strongly.. im emotional sometimes overly so.. and i take things to heart.. pretty much everything.. yes i have my own devilish side.. but most times its not a very strong one.. im compassionate and kind.. i cant do things without thinking them threw... its crazy... how i over-think and things come in to my head possibilities.. sometimes its fun to be imaginative and sometimes not.. 

my heart was broken today.. after an hour ok it was a little less.. i knew nothing would happen.. it couldn't happen to nervous to knotted up in my stomach nearly sick.. he didn't understand he apologized but i couldn't possibly go through with anything today.. it just was not possible... i was barley able to convey how i was feeling and still he didn't understand it was hard..i did decide to  take a leave of absence from a place i love... its fun loving learning place to be.. pretty much everyone there is very kind..  but right now i have to calm down emotionally to do reports and write tasks and do tasks... i cant let whatever is churning in get in the way of any task i do or task i write or report on it! so ya... thats my post! ill be back eventually to there just for a week or too i need to take abreak.. i look forward to going backt to that place!!