lost, lonely, and not caring.. diet.. is so so..

ok so update on my diet.. which i hate to call it.. its not just one time for a short or long time.. its a change you know.. eating t home and stuff all the time from now till the time i die.. but anyways its a life long thing hopefully if i can stick to it.. so in my past journals blogs whatever you can see exactly where i am mentally speaking but physically im still adjusting to the change..  dont think im so much addicted to the fast food more like now i dont care if i eat or not.... dont get me wrong i love  the taste of food.. more as i dont care to eat.. maybe its just right now.. the only thing that keeps me eating is the fact that i get intense headaches if i dont eat.. and we all know not eating is as bad as eating badly.. the fact is i just dont really care.. there i said it.. well i care about certain aspects of it.. but right now i dont care to eat you know what i mean.. its just not a pleasing thought.. and i have to eat in order to keep healthy in order to have any energy to work.. but its like i dont care anymore... i said that a billion times now.. but the fact of the matter is i just stopped caring.. i dont know what it is... i never quite felt like this before this lack of caring for anything at all... oh i still care.. but just about certain things ive let go now... .. anyways ive been ok.. either i eat to much or i dont eat enough.. i had some fast food the other day because i did not make lunch for myself and i found i was really hungry and the headach was nagging me so i ate taco bell.. ive done pretty good with the  no soda thing.. i have it eery now and again.. but not a whole glass of it or anything maybe a few ounces which is better then huge large sodas twice to three times a day.. so i guess u know im on the right track.. as i said.. its become one of those things that just doesnt matter much right now.. anyways im off got to get ready for work soon i think ill take a shower.. maybe ill feel better...