ha u know i can never type less then a few sentences.... but i have so much going on right now.. you know on the brink of disaster and all i can do is raise my hand and say ok... its me ill fix it.. dont yell dont scream..i ant stand that..i have made my own disaster thats the reason i take responsibility ive turned everything a mess..it didn't have to be a disaster not even close to it.. but i turned away and decided i would not look i would just simply turn a blind away and pretend it wouldn't come back to haunt me.. and of course it has i should have known better.. not that i have anyone in my world to tell everything to... no advisor or best friend willing to lend an ear because im always the one lending an ear and i really dont mind that so much.. what i do mind is that i haven't any one that i can safley and comfortably turn to. id rather not pass my problems to others id rather keep my problem myself.. what i didn't look at was that when you let your problems go and just hold on to all of them and you dont ask for help because maybe your to afraid to ask for help is that your problems can spread to others because of the attitude you develop because you become so stressed that its ridiculous.. maybe im not fun to be around because my attitude is bad..i think its bad im a little edgy sometimes.. but not often usually im very nice.. and kind.. who knows right now.. maybe getting back on track with real life is what i need to pull myself up and take responsibility for my own problems... and deal with them... accordingly.... maybe ill be able to be a happier person.. i would tell you what i think personally but thats to deep for this blog so ill leave it at that if i become a little moody with you... ya know why.. i am a little bit moody... and a little.. lot ... stressed.. and just a tad ok alot emotional... well i need to go clean something..
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It's ok to accept responsibilty for things done wrong but one thing has stood out for a while now. We don't share like we used too. We used to share everything, good and bad times. I understand that you have spent a good deal of your time with your new Master and I think this is awesome. But today when you popped up to chat and were having troubles I couldn't help you. You wouldn't share your troubles with me. Sharing is key to a lot of things and especially our friendship. I miss that so much. I have always been here to help you, always will my friend. I have lent you my ears in more ways than I can count and I wish to help if you let me. Sharing eases then burden you carry and friends help carry that extra load when those hard times come. I hope you don't forgot that. You don't have to carry it alone.
hugs
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