Umm well today I woke up super early like 330.. I was so horny that and ihad to go potty.... my stomaches not feeling so great.. But anywaysim not allowed to touch or feel.. Except for hygenine of course..and I've been good but its been hard... and its keeping me awake... I finally read a story and actually it was an intense story.... but it calmed me down so much.. But now I can't go back to sleep... I hope I will be able to soon.... online relationships are hard to maintain and kee up with.. Especially when ur Master lives a gazillion miles from where you live... and you'd give almost anything to be with him... and its funny ok not really how much sometimes I need him... just his soothing words or his voice.. He is so calm and understanding... it nearly makes me want to shiver.. But anyways moving on... I chat with him nearly everyday even if its just aminute or two and I hate it when he leaves.. But I know this is the time where I need to be strong and independent even when somewhat relying on him... see I love him so much that I tend to want to just lean on him... but he does not want someone who cannot think for herselves he wants me to be strong and independent and grow and learn and respect and stuff like that.... ill get they I will.... one thing that this punishment has taught me is thati need to be more open and honest I can't be closed down and only share part of myself with my Master.. I need to share my whole self with him the good the bad and the ugly.. I plan to post maybe not him maybe just an email to him exactly what that is because I'm just relaizing... I need to and want him to know everything about me not just my needs and desires... but all that other stuff too! Mmm yess that is food for thought...