well I don't even know how to begin.. I was talking to someone the other day... I talk to someone every day lol.. And we were talking about love.... and how were both extremely loving people and we fall fast and hard without taking in the reality around us... and it occurs to me that I should be careful.. There are a lot of men out there who will take it for granted.. The one particular man I want live across usa and there's not a thing I can do about it...

But moving on... I am learning through words from others what submission really is...

Its not just about orgasms and kneeling for X amount of time.... its about giving urself to that person and doing as they request without hesitation... its submitting ur needs and desires before them and for them to pick them up and take care of them.... its where your heart is and also a lot of online is where you place that person... is it all about wheather I get to orgasm today or is about that it doesn't mattter if I gain my own pleasure as long as I am pleasing u I am happy and that is my pleasure...

I think I've kinda lost track of that.. Its not about me... its about my Master and that I do everything I am asked without hesitancy and only a desire to please him... like if he so desires for me to orgasm and that is pleasing him then that is what I will do.. Or if its cleaning up the living room without an attitude cause my Master so desires it to be done... even cleaning my room without complaining because if that's what my Master wants that is what he should get... my goal should be to make him pleased and happy and proud of his sub... and in turn for pleasing him I will be happy as well... I don't know if this makes sense.. But it does to me...

Im lost and confused
Im whole and new

Im crying
Im laugh

Im screaming
Im rejoycing

I feel like crap
Im like new

I don't really know
I think I really do

I'm not sure what to do

So many emotions
And not enough to do

Oh what to say oh what to do

There's not to much I can do

But,

I will keep trying
Pushing a steady forward pace
Always moving onward
Eventually I will win the race

I don't know where that came from but.. It sounds rhythmic even if it doesn't make sense :)