last night i went to a bon fire and i with friends. all around me people i care about. i of course knew this but i was so into my book. as people came for the bonfire i kept reading hearing comments, i would laugh occasionally and push on. i must had an intense look.. someone commented that i must have night vision. it was getting dark but there was a bathroom.. ok it was not to far away but far enough.. i was just really into my book... i was sitting by the pit that they started the bonfire in and it was happened to be almost in front of the group.. it wasn't like we were sitting in anything like a formal circle i just happened to be there.. as the flames rose higher.. ok really not to high i was staring at the flames .. great fascination for something so dangerous. by this time i had stopped reading i really couldn't see anymore. i did not converse much with other i just didn't feel like talking. i in the first place did not want to go.. but i missed them and there company. gas is really to expensive anymore to take into account emotions or feelings.. but whats done is done and i cant take it back now.. i did enjoy last night. i talked with a friend for a little while.. it was great being able to talk with her.. shes sometimes my guiding light when i cant see my way through something.. that was so precious.. but i left still feeling like there was something missing.. and i know exactly what. myself thats what was missing.. two parts of me that refuse to meld together.. my social side and my quiet side.. they refuse to get along.. so im either.. uncharacteristic and talk to much or im to quiet..its really a delicate balance.. people notice they do when you talk to much versus your quiet self.. who knows maybe ill achieve that balance.. someday.. i know i tell myself that too.. someday... anyways so i was staring into the fire and realized that im going to smell like smoke today, and i do then i looked beyond to see my friend sitting by her boyfriend.. not something many people know, and not something i knew until she told me herself.. and i knew what a great match. i told her so to.. what a wonderful match they made. they were sitting there he tending the fire she leaning back in a chair.. and i saw it infront of my eyes.. what an amazing couple they will make. now im not planning there wedding or anything just yet.. but alls im saying is they are beautiful together they flow seamlessly with one another.. its something to see when you meet your destiny.. and all fits well toeather.. only someday do i hope to achieve that.. that meeting of destiny.