just pondering

So I'm wondering is it wrong to hold something against someone for something that happened 10 years ago.. Its not that I hold it agains her or him in fact what happened happened and nothing I feel or say can change that and I don't dare ask the what if questions.. What ifs never happened.. But I mean come on couldn't she at least be decent...treat me as if I'm 23 and not 7...couldn't she show a certain amount of respect have a certain amount of morales... I don't want to be invovled with her but I am she is my step parent after all.... but I don't know I just think if I could rid her from memory and keep my dad but the memorys are entertwined and you can't get rid of them after all I only wish to get rid of the negative ones... the latest was a door sstopper for her it irkes me just to think of it the fact I wish to tell her off so much but keep a poliet dialogue anyways! How I stand it I don't know.. Did she think she was being kind I don't think so.. I think she knows exactly what she is getting into my grandparents treat me as if im7 too its frustrating for everyone to see you as a child except for my moms side of the family and my aunt uncle on my dads side who know the whole story and get what I go through... they know the ridculousness of it all and how frustrated I get! My aunt has been my hero letting me vent as much as I want and then giving the best advice she can and it always helps! I love her so much! As much as I love my mom even.. She is like my second mom.. Without sometimes I think I'd go crazy! I love my dad so much.... and I hate knowing what the cause of my parents break up was even at 23 it breaks my heart 10 yrs ago.. So sad.. A moment I won't ever forget ....but I guess sometimes we've got to think and write about these things to get it all out is what's important right I may want to strangle my step parent but I won't ... some say I love to freely or openly or to much I say I love just right.. And in my own way I love my step parent I really do its just hard to show sometimes!! Well I think its time to sleep..night night blog until next time!