mmm... life....smile :)

Well life takes interesting twist and turns.. And when you think something is going to go one way it goes another way, and yet throws you off balance.. And it gets this way, over and over again... its like a great wind comes up and knocks you around and just when you about to stand still, another wind comes, I'm not saying its bad sometimes its good. It invokes change, and keeps us moving and on our toes... and I'm on my toes. What can I say... my life is full of wind.. And I'm constantly changing and making new descisions that are vital to make for my life... most times I don't like making decsions.. Only cause I can never make up my stubborn mind..... very hard to explain... I'm indesisive is all I can say oh well... ill be lucky to find someone.. And happy to do so when I do.. The right person will come for me.... on to more topics though.. I'm going to task this week for the entire week.... I don't remember all the elements of the task.. But I am sure its going to be hard for me to overcome some things like eating out .. I'm absoulutely horrible at that! I eat out almost constantly! Though I don't need to... I do anyways.. Anyways this task focuses on that.. Its exciting I think that's where I wanna learn to.. To be able to do something that isn't for my pleasure but soley for someone elses... I was reading a performer task.. And the things she was doing in this task were not for her, she did not do them for herself, and little if no pleasure was granted her.. But she did it and came through niceley.. That's what I want to do at one point.. Get to a point where I will be able to do anything for the sole pleasure of another without giving in or giving up... to bring a smile to that persons face whoever it may be, wheather I want to do that thing or not, I want to be able to be at that place that I would do it.. Well u know why by now, to do it because it pleases them.. Anyways I'm just being repetative now.. I don't know why its so hard for me to do tasks well to pick them... to write them is hard and a challenege but I do enjoy writing task and having others perform for me... that's rewarding I think..... I just have to get to that place now, where I can say completely and without doubt yes I will do that, because its for you and not for me... when I get there I don't know but eventually I will!.. Though it may be a hard journey there... I will one day find my place wherever that may be..........