this weeks stuff

This has been a long week for me my period came, my car got in a wreck... had a meeting ar work was kinda serious.. Ok was real serious.. We have new people starting tuesday... I have a new Master.. And that's exciting.. I'm hopeing it will expand and grow.. Each of us... this puts a change on my relationship with Him my Master.. My Sir my Love.... a spin a twist.. Its interesting and I can't wait to see where it leads us both... I want to grow in this relationship to try new things... to really trust and give and be open.. As I know he is and always have been I just want it to always continue that way.. I know this will be a learning experience for me.. A great big one... well see what happens.. I just wanna roll with it as it comes.. I'm going to try my best not to be to worried about things though I do so easily..... I can't wait to start and take another step... one at a time... to u my love.. One at a time and well see where it leads us.......... I'm also doin nick x task on display those are very intimate questions though I haven't been able to finish them just yet I'm working on it.. And that will see a little bit more of me.. Blush.. Smile.. Kiss ok well enough for now.. Got to get into work soon!

wow changes

wow changes.. big changes.. friend.. love.. and Master.. hmm yes interesting changes indeed..

Postions

positions to learn.. and practice..

Enemas

I will try

My week so far has been bloody hell!I started out on a marvelous note with creditors.. Yes creditors.. Bills I had forgotten.. No not on purpose just did so I started to pay them..and ya know what one thing I hate more then bills..is late bills that are my own damned fault when I have almost no money in the bank.and another thing I hate is having to ask for freaking finacial help just to make it through the month.. Or to go on vacation.. Because its a wedding.. A cousins.. I cannot miss it.. There my family of course ill be there.... but I had to ask for help nearly killed me.. But I did.. Actually it was offered in order to save me from asiking my grandparents which I do not like to do... anyways long story yada yada yada... and just yesterday or no day before I got in an auto accident.. Minor front fender bender not my fault... damn drivers do not hesitate when u make a descison stick with it! Jeez! Anyways I'm so tired.. I think ill go to bed and try and sleep! Oh and mother nature is visiting.. That just caps the week! Grrrr!!!!!!!!

oh so sick..

Well.. I don't know how I got to be the lucky one to get sick.. But I am... and I am possibly the worst sick person in the world! I mean attitude wise... just ignore any rude comments... I'm really not mean I swear it... my brother told me I had a bad attitude yesterday... well let me tell you something... you woke me out of a glorious nap to find something out and it was one of the few hours I've had to sleep in this last day... hell ya I'm going to be grumpy... I can't sleep.. For the life of me... I took stuff.. Ya know cold stuff.. That is ighttime that should make me and usually does fairly tired.. But still I cannot sleep... and I'm telling you me not sleeping is not good...I just want to be better.. On top of not sleeping I have to clean my room today... but I can't clean my room if I'm still all stuffed up and have a headache... everytime I bend over I see stars.. That is not ideal health to be in to clean my room... and my moms comming home.... and I have to clean up her room and do her sheets and stuff so she won't get sick because I've been staying in her room.. While mine is under contruction!!!! Be careful in my room hard hat area for sure.. And tripping hazard! Anyways..... ya and I'm not feel good.. It just doesn't boad well for the upcomming week in which I don't have till next friday off.. So I called out thursday have friday off go back to work saturday don't have till friday off.. If u followed that... anyways its going to be a long week! And I'm going to try and sleep now!

learning about myself

Well tonight I leaned something about myself... something I would never have though of if it weren't for a task I was doing.. Well that's if she lets me continue on with the task! Lol.. I learned that I prefer to perform writting elemtnts for tasking... I find it much easier to request and do any sort of writting assignment with moderat, little or no physical interaction then I do with purley physical tasks... I mean yes I like the actual tasks themsevels the ones that have almost purley physical elements but for me I can requesting a writting task easier... a physical task... for me to do it I deffinetley think it would have to be assigned.. I prefer it that way! It is in truth easier for me ..... doing the writting task although makes me feel submissive and think hard... physical task do much more.. Its a reliztion it connects with your body and mind... now if I could only get my mind to calm down long enough to perform a physical task that would be wonderful!! I can't put into words how frustrating it is to want to do certain things but can't do it because of a physical limitation or more apptly fear.... so frustrating sometimes ok I really need to sleep good night!

sweet loving

do you ever wonder why certain symbols mean something to you? i do.. i wonder why some things are so vital to us.....for me.. my symbol that i love is a heart.....a heart symbolizes love... it also well to me symbolizes wholeness a completeness.. a heart symbolizes love and devotion.. and the giving of ones heart is a huge thing.... its special. hehe i always draw a heart on my hand.. its mything i draw i just do and its funny because its never a pefect heart.. drawn with straight lines and stuff or you know.. its always crooked somehow.. but love is not always perfect... in fact i dont think its ever perfect,.. but true love can be made to work.. love is and always will be a delicate thing that can stand lots of trials... a heart symbolizes love.. weather i draw a heart because of love.. or because i like the way it looks.. i dont know.. but thats my special symbol and just relizing that its always been a heart... not a flower.. not a yin yang sign.. but a heart.. maybe its because i have sooo much love.. i cant help it.. there are people that hate me.. but i still have so much love.. and i know i am always loved.. well and thouroughly.. maybe not physically loved.. but emotionally loved... and you know that saying.. stay sweet dont ever change.. well friends out there.. according to me at least.. and some others.. im still sweet.. thats never changed.. i dont think i could ever change! its not possible for me to change that i am and always be sweet.. i hope at least.. maybe a little devilish sometimes.. and i dont mind.. hehehe... but i will always be sweet.. and with an easy disposition usually... ok not all the time.. but easy enough... except maybe when im stressed.. ok.. well i dont know... ive got alot on my mind.. gots to go.. ill be back to write more later!

what's goin on

I often wonder the same thing.. At one point everything is the same going in one direction and then suddenly when u think everything has settled and going fine... everything breaks loose the ground shakes and the rocks fall all around you and your not sure how to react to everything then your left with a mess and and left standing on edge and u get that I'm going to tip over any moment feeling... and life will end as u know it... what then... do u look for life lines or do u deal with it on your own... who knows right till the situation happens ya know..... I don't know... well see how it goes... I'm standing on the edge and well see how where I end up.. With new ground or faling off the cliff.. Only the future knows what exactly will happen!